"Raise Up!!"

January 17, 2012.......Well, I did it!!  I took my measurements and I weighed myself......Whoa! Whoa! Whoa!

I think that momentarily, I'm in a state of shock!!  Now I know that I said that I would post my measurements, but shoot, that was before I took them.  I don't know what to do right now.  The more I type, the more I am thinking, Hell Naw!!! Ain't No Way!!! Man u done stepped on my J's (my J's right now is my pride, my ego, my embarrassment!!)  WTF.........Really?  Really Homie, Really!!  Yes Maam........You do weigh 224 lbs. ( I can't believe I just said that, but "F" it, I did).  And, my measurements are as follows:  Chest: 45, Waist: 40, Hips: 48, Thighs: 45 together, R-Thigh 30, L-Thigh 30, Arms L-15, R-15, Neck 15, Head 24.5.............There you go, all my skeletons (weight) right out in the middle of the fraganackle street.  Man O' Man.

As disheartening as it all is, I'm encouraged tonight.  At least I'm telling myself that I'm encouraged tonight.  My Pastor used to always say "sometimes you got to encourage yourself", that's what I am trying to do.  I haven't walked in 5 days.  I keep looking out the window at the beautiful outdoors thinking that I need to go out there, I need to walk, but, I haven't.  Am I stuck?  Probably, for a second or two.  I am trying to find balance inside of myself.  I am at the place where I am alone.  It is just me.  No one pushing me like I seen on the biggest loser tonight.  I even seen one guy quit and go home and I was sitting in my bed thinking "why did you quit?"  "Somebody grab him, don't let him go".  A part of me feels like I quit...........

I knew yesterday that I was past the "my body is exhausted stuff".  I knew that I needed to pick right back up. I don't have pitty parties, that I don't do.  This is where I have to find the strength to forge ahead.  I am at the place where failure is not an option and I have to do whatever it takes even if it means that after I write in this blog tonight I will get up and go walking in the middle of the night.

Tomorrow I plan on starting with my nutritional part of my lifestyle change.  I found a menu plan that I am going to try and see how that works for me.  It seems to have all the right ingredients right down to calories being counted and menus designed for the day and week.  I'll tell you how that works for me.

I have another song that I would like to share with you.  And yes you guessed it!!  How did you know?  It's by Ledisi, called "Raise Up!!"

"I'm looking around and I see more of the same.  People looking for purpose, someone to blame.  As I'm on my quest for fame, every day the places change, as they humble trying to play the game.  I figured it out, my dreams are bigger than me.  Been taken much further than I thought I would be.  I'm so glad that I believe that God has plans for me.  Mama told me it will happen, you'll see.  Time for you to raise up!  Time for you to get right!  Time for you to get up!  Time for you to be loud!  Time for you to raise up!  Get up! Stand Up! Raise up!  You gotta know who you are.  You are meant for a purpose.  What is meant for you is meant to be.  You are meant to be.  I couldn't move forward til' I let go of the past.  I needed my freedom, I needed it bad. If we all could just forgive, it's the only way to live.  I have more now than I ever had.  There is a path and it is written for you.  Take your time to find the truth.  What do you have to lose?  It's time for you to choose.  No one else can do it for you.  Time for you to raise up!  Time for you to get right!  Time for you to get up!  Time for you to be loud!  Time for you to raise up!  Get up! Stand Up! Raise Up!  When judgment day comes, have you given your best?  Has the world been changed by the love that you left?  Forgive those who trespassed against you.  Rise through the pain, let it go!  What happened is done.  It's time to live again!!"

That's the truth.com

I'll take those words and stand on them.  I will raise up, I know that my dreams are bigger than me.  I'm learning who I am in the process of letting go of the past.  It's time for me to choose knowing that no one else can do it for me.  Ledisi, I thank you for your cd.  It truly has been my motivation!!

"To get to the top actually, you must first get to the top mentally" ---by Chris Widener

Sincerely,

"L"