January 23, 2012.......Have you ever wanted something so bad that you can taste it? I don't like where I am right now. I would love to have all of these fuzzy words, and fuzzy sayings with fuzzy words of wisdom, but I don't today. I wish I could say right now that I have this whole thing figured out and I have been walking every day since the beginning of the year and life is some big bowl of cherries, it's not!! I look in the mirror and I want my weight gone today, presto, poof be gone weight like magic abracadabra, right? Wrong? It's not gone and in order for it to go anywhere I have a lot of work to do. I think I'm really in my feelings today because life is happening all around me and it feels like I am slipping away from me, vacation is over, back to the drawing board, more demands being put on me and I am starting to put Lolita off again. Bottom line I am coming up with excuses in my head as to why I haven't walked in two days. First, I am bringing in the weight equipment and my exercise bike from outside, then I am exhausted. Truth is, just excuses.
I have to set my alarm clock up now and put me first on my list of priorities like I've stated in the past. So, tomorrow I am going to approach this whole thing a little differently. I will wake up intentionally at least an hour before I would normally wake up and try to manage my time down to the hour and see what happens. It started out okay in the beginning, blogging at night after I had gotten in a late night walk, however; I found that I wasn't going to bed until 2 or 3 in the morning. It's caught up with me now. My days were being cut into and that didn't allow me much time during the day to keep up. It's becoming overwhelmingly difficult to maintain and what is the first thing to suffer and be put on the back burner? You guessed it, Lolita.....
I refuse to allow that to happen. I will commit to trying another approach keeping in mind that I need to relax and be patient with myself. I know that I want it all and I want it all now but I will remind myself again that the race isn't given to the swift but to the one who endures til the end.
"The hell to be endured hereafter, of which theology tells, is no worse than the hell we make for ourselves in this world by habitually fashioning our characters in the wrong way.....We are spinning our own fates, good or evil......" --by William James
"I know of no more encouraging fact than the unquestionable ability of man to elevate his life by a conscious endeavor." --by Henry David Thoreau
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