November 22, 2017
"Broken Heart...........!"
Heart: 1. a muscular organ in vertebrates that receives blood from the veins and pumps it through the arteries to oxygenate the blood during its circuit. 3. the center of the total personality, esp. with reference to intuition, feeling, or emotion. 4. the center of emotion, esp. as contrasted to the head as the center of the intellect. 5. capacity for sympathy; feeling; affection. 6. spirit, courage or enthusiasm. 7. the innermost or central part of anything. 8. the vital or essential part; core. 9. breast or bosom. 18. break someone's heart, to cause someone to be utterly devastated by sorrow or disappointment. 20. eat one's heart out, to grieve inconsolably. 26. in one's heart of hearts, in one's private thoughts or feelings; deep within one.
Heartbreak: 1. n. great sorrow or anguish
Heartbroken: 1. adj. crushed with sorrow or grief
Take Heart: 32. to regain one's courage; become heartened. 34. to wear one's heart on one's sleeve, to allow one's feelings, esp. of love to show. 35. with all one's heart, eagerly; cordially.
I had to start from the beginning to make some sense of how I could allow myself to merely exist over the last year or so. I've literally been walking around aimlessly allowing my subconscious to take over the helm while I floated adrift in the murky waters of life!
Without going too deep into details one night everything as I knew it changed. What I thought was so wasn't and it's taken me almost two years to reconcile with myself. As you can see from the definition of heart, we know what it is and what it does, we understand that our hearts are a literal organ that pumps blood from our veins through our arteries oxygenating the blood. Without the literal function of the heart, we would cease to exist. We need our hearts to have a continuous flow of blood circulating for us to live. Our hearts also have other functions, at the center of our hearts is our personalities, emotions, and feelings. Our hearts are like our grand central station! Our hearts are the center of our being, our spirit man, our intellect, our feelings of compassion and affection. Our hearts illuminates with enthusiasm, intuitively bold, courageous with vitality and tenacity!
With everything great about our hearts, sometimes in our lives, we may experience heartbreak. About a year ago my heart was broken, crushed, anguished, with deep, deep, sorrow. I didn't think that it could be repaired. I didn't realize just how much having a broken heart could take out of you and away from you. I was on top of the world! God had healed me of cancer 3 times! Life couldn't have been any better for me! I stopped everything. I stopped living my life. I stopped participating in living socially, emotionally, and spiritually. I couldn't participate in life. My brokenness had taken over and I spiraled out of control. I was at the edge and I jumped! Now, I didn't know I jumped, I didn't realize I took the plunge of despair but I did. It wasn't some big, huge drastic decision that I decided to wake up one day and do. No, no, no! It was a gradual decline. I should have known that I was getting in too deep and too far when I stopped writing & walking but like I said it was a gradual thing. One day I wouldn't walk and I would say okay I'll do it tomorrow. Or I would put off writing in my blog, or I would turn down going to an event, and before I knew it I was standing on the scale and it said; "Lolita, you weigh 242 lbs!"
"Hence the saying: If you know the enemy and know yourself, you need not fear the result of a hundred battles. If you know yourself but not the enemy, for every victory gained you will also suffer a defeat. If you know neither the enemy nor yourself, you will succumb in every battle!"
~Sun Tzu
Now, I'm taking heart! I'm regaining my courage eagerly with passion and grit! I am a "Walking Woman that Wins!"
I AM BADASS!
I look forward to living my life to the full until it overflows............! I am going to walk off 125 lbs. of sludge!
Much Love,
Lo Lo from P.O.
Lolita Mamacita!
#walkingwomanwinning!
Leading w/Lolita
"The consummate leader cultivates the moral law, and strictly adheres to method and discipline; thus it is in his power to control success."
~Sun Tzu
Laughing w/ Lolita
Q What is smarter than a talking bird
A. A spelling bee!
Loving w/Lolita
Nothing is impossible if we believe, act, we'll achieve.
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