I am guilty!! I stand accused!! Would I change it? I just don't know, it's been like this all my life. I wear my heart on my sleeve. I know I've said it before, I get myself in trouble with this very thing all the time, feeling like I want to talk it through, discuss what the problem is, find a solution because it's not easy for me to fake liking a mis-understanding, or be in the presence of someone and know that there's tension in the air, and clearly see that things have changed, yet we carry on as if everything is A, okay, that is such an awkward feeling, and position to be in. As an adult I would like to think that I have the freedom to express myself openly and honestly without bias or judgement, especially when I am talking with a friend or maybe the person isn't a friend friend, but there comes a time when one may need to clear the air on a certain subject only to find that it's not okay. I am baffled by the fact that having a genuine concern about a subject matter could get one ostracized by a person or persons, that just floors me that adults form opinions about others based on something they have heard, or something that they think they know, not necessarily something that a person has done to them.
Have you ever walked into a room and the same people that loved to see you coming a week ago, even tell you that you light up the room every time you walk through the door, find it hard to look you in the eye, and the question you ask yourself is why? How could this be? The answer is I don't know, truly I don't. But what I can say today is, it doesn't matter. It doesn't matter what you think, and if you think something you better keep it to yourself because if it's not a popular opinion people will cut you like a ginzu knife cuts a cantelope!! (smile) You know that saying, sometimes you have to encourage yourself, no truer words ever spoken.
I work with students and one thing I try to instill in them is independence and leadership, especially when it comes to standing for something they believe in, or even for that matter standing up for someone that may not be the most popular kid on campus, or may be different or could just be mis-understood because you may not know that person or what's going on in their life. I try to teach them to follow the golden rule of asking themselves 3 questions: #1) Did that person do anything to you personally for you to not like them? #2) Is that person always nice to you? #3) Is there something about that person that you find interesting or that you like about that person? When they take the time to think about the answers to the questions and can honestly say that the person didn't do anything to them to be talked about, ridiculed or ostracized, the person is always nice and friendly to them, and yes they genuinely like them, then I say regardless of what the rest says, you have to stand up against bullying, because bullying comes in many forms in many ways. I let them know that a bully isn't just the person that will take your lunch money, or the person that will beat you up physically, a bully is a coward, someone that can't stand alone on how they feel, they need to be supported by the masses, the group, the click......
The dichotomy is; I tell the students to stand.....If you don't stand for something you fall for everything, yet I ......(things that make you go hmm!!)
Sometimes our hearts get broken into what feels like a million itty, bitty pieces, but it will be okay if at the end of the day you ask yourself the same questions in a different way. #1) Did I do anything to inflict harm on a person, and did I give the best I could give with the time I have? If I can honestly say yes, then that't the best I have, and yes, even as an adult, even that may not be good enough, and yes it may even be heartbreaking, but you can only give what you have and do the best you can. The bible says not to cast your pearls before swine, sometimes your jewels aren't supposed to be received by everyone and that's okay also, even Jesus said a prophet is without honor in is own town......
"As the fletcher whittles and makes straight his arrows, so the master directs his straying thoughts." ~The Buddha
"All emotions are pure which gather you and lift you up; that emotion is impure which seizes only one side of your being and so distorts you." ~Rainer Maria Rilke
"Things do not change; we change." ~Henry David Thoreau
"Under all that we think, lives all we believe, like the ultimate veil of our spirits."
~Antonio Machado
LaLaLolita
No comments:
Post a Comment